🔎Concept Overview

Perfectionism

Growing up in gymnastics, everything had to be perfect.

I was trying to get the perfect score to win, to please my coaches and teammates.

It was all about perfection. It felt great when I was nearly perfect and got a high score.

It did not feel great when it came to critiquing and improving.

It was so easy to get down on myself and be overly critical because I wasn't perfect or a skill wasn't perfect.

Being too hard on myself became the easy thing to do and I forgot to celebrate the small victories and the progress.

Does this sound like your athlete?

Is your athlete too hard on themselves and only focusing on the negatives or failures?

Do they find it hard to find any positive progress that they have made even when you give some examples?

⚒️Action Items

I am statements

Let's get into I am statements and why they help perfectionism.

First, what is an I am statement?

They are like little mantras or facts about yourself and your situation.

The idea is to make them about positive things and focus on the progress.

For example, let's say I am a 10 year old who plays volleyball and I am working on my jump serve.

I am not consistent to make it over the net and in bounds every time, but I have made some.

I start to get down on myself and say that I suck and need to be better. I am only focusing on the negatives and I can barely remember that I have made some pretty good looking serves.

My mom sees this and reminds me of I am statements, so we say a few together.

• I am getting some serves in.
• I am improving my toss a little each time.
• I am learning from my failures.
• I am not supposed to get it right away.

Now I have taken some time to detach and think about my progress.

I remember some positives and that it's okay to fail.

Failure means I am growing as long as I learn from the failures and do not dwell on them for too long.

My heart rate slows, my frustration eases, and my mind is clearer.

I can now go back and practice a few more serves with a better mindset.

That better mindset will help me have a more focused practice session which will lead to more efficient and effective growth.

Your athlete's brain is powerful.

Emotion and thoughts can drive reality if they are repeated often enough to the person.

If we repeat positive affirmations like I am statements it can change our emotion and state of mind.

This in turn can lead to exponential growth in resilience.

📘Helpful Resources

Read this article from mentalhealth.com to learn more about positive affirmations, the science behind them, and their effectiveness.

• ​https://www.mentalhealth.com/tools/science-of-affirmations​