🔎Concept Overview

Overly blaming others

Does your young athlete say things like, "The ref cost us the game" or "Coach never gives me enough attention" or the classic, "My teammates don't pass me the ball"?

Welcome to the thinking trap I call "The Them Game" – where it's always somebody else's fault.

Here's the problem: when kids constantly attribute failures to external factors, they're surrendering their power and responsibility.

They become passive victims in their own sports story rather than the hero who overcomes obstacles.

The sneaky thing about the blame game is that sometimes it's partially true!

Maybe the ref DID miss a call.

Perhaps coach DOES favor another player.

But here's the million-dollar question: Does focusing on those external factors help your child improve?

⚒️Action Items

Learning a Growth Mindset

Blaming others is a fixed mindset. They think nothing they do will matter. It's always somebody's fault.

Here are a few simple fixes:

1. Ask your athlete, "What's the one thing within YOUR control you could improve next time?" This shifts focus from the uncontrollable to the controllable.
2. Create a "blame-free zone" for 24 hours after competition. No blaming refs, teammates, or conditions – just reflection on personal performance.
3. Challenge them to find one positive action for every complaint. "Coach didn't play me enough" becomes "I'll show coach my hustle in practice tomorrow."

These small mindset shifts aren't just game-changers – they're life-changers.

Young athletes who take ownership develop resilience that extends far beyond sports.

📘Helpful Resources

Download and print these worksheets to start teaching your athlete how to switch their way of thinking.

Every worksheet for your athlete, there is a Parent Guide that will help you guide them through what they are supposed to learn